false start, beginning of the future
by Lao Tseu
Summary: Connie had to leave hurriedly to look after her mother. Mike feels abandoned and frustrated at not telling Connie about his feelings. Little by little, they will learn to know each other differently than at work, but if a continent separates them.
1. Chapter 1

_**For all the chapters of my story, I do not own the characters, they are the property of Dick Wolf.**_

_**I chose to publish the story in my mother tongue French and in the language of the country of origin of the TV show in English!**_

It was past midnight, Mike was still in the office. Difficult for him to do something else. He was overcome with regret at not having confessed his feelings to Connie.

Now she had gone to join her family, her mother had a stroke, and since Connie is the only one of her siblings to have no children and companions she is better able to take care of them.

When she received this call they left the reception for Lieutenant Van Buren, all went well between them, despite the presence of colleagues and friends they remained in their bubble to speak for once freely of their life.

The next day Jack warned him that Connie had left in the night on LA They did not know for how long.

Mike was there playing with his phone, touching the button to call Connie, how will she take that call?

He remembers his discussion with Jack, the need to replace Connie, it's true that as long as her family needs her, Connie will not leave LA

"Mike, I'm going to put Casey Novak as an assistant for Connie's absence, hard to find someone to work with you

\- Funny, but I can handle the time of Connie's absence, trainees are able to do the necessary research

\- And who will take care of the indictments, to follow the other files ...

\- Do not worry, this will be temporary »

He threw himself on the key of calls, during the tone his heart tapped hard in his chest. But this is not the first he calls Connie, but that's different.

"Yes Connie Rubirosa

\- Good evening Connie, I came to take news of your mom and ... From you

\- Thanks Mike, my mother is still in the hospital, it gives me time to see for home helpers when she comes out. And of ... well, I have not had Jack yet, but Mike ... I will stay on LA. My mother will not be able to live alone for a moment and

\- You will not come back to New York? ... I understand, I have to leave you

\- Mike ... »

He was hurting, so badly, if I had told him my feelings, if only now it's too late she's gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A short chapter but a lot of work in my breeding so no time to write. But I will try to update my story regularly. Please read and please if you have any ideas do not hesitate!**

Mike after wandering in the office starts writing an email to Connie

The office is empty without you, I can not hear your laugh anymore

The clap of your heels when you arrived

I have your smile echoing in my eyes

Your face in thought allows me to still hold

Sometimes I even smile and think about you

Your office is empty, your perfume has left the office

It hurts so bad to have you close to me

If I had my feelings, would you have stayed?

Everything is empty without you, I think of our work nights

In memories of you tears flow that I have left you

Mile Cutter

He only has to click on send but he hesitates. Will Connie take her name as an admission of weakness? But Mike has everything he thinks and all he feels every moment of the day. Jack pulls him from his thoughts

\- Mike I just received a transfer request from Connie, the condition of her mother requires that she stay in LA

\- Yes ... okay ... when, when?

\- There was a LA prosecutor shortage so she might come back to move her office, but she preferred me to send her

\- Yes ... (he was standing, pinching his lips, he felt the tears come) it's better I leave you

He clicked on sending from his BlackBerry

Connie came out of her thoughts by the alarm on her phone that told her she had a message. She was not surprised to get a message from Mike, she thought he needed help with a case she had started working with.

She opened the message, from the first line her eyes are crying with tears, a feeling of anger "But why did not he tell me anything, why now that everything is impossible? His mom calls him

\- Consuela darling you come the movie will begin

\- Yes, I'm coming ... right now ... (water went to his mother did not notice anything)

\- My darling you cried what's going on?

\- Nothing finally a man told me his feelings, but now everything is done I have my job in LA, you need me and I will never be able to leave you

\- As far as I'm concerned I'm able to decide, for this man what do you feel?

\- I do not know, anger

\- Anger why?

\- Because he did not tell me, it's been years that we work together, we saw each other every day and now he told me everything I wanted ... oh my mom I'm so bad

Clarissa Connie's mom took her daughter in her arms, and said, "Connie do not sacrifice your happiness for me, I did not ask your brothers and sisters I will not ask you! "

Once her mother was lying down she looked to book a plane ticket, to empty her office and apartment, and ... talk to Mike


	3. Chapter 3

Connie organized her departure with her siblings so that her mother did not miss anything, since the plane took off she is looking for the best solution to stay with her mother or stay in New York. She would like everyone to be simpler. But if she stays in New York Mike will always be his superior, there will always be prying eyes and gossip. But Mike's message reflected his feelings that she also has for him.

She took a taxi to Hogan Square, went up to the office, she was not surprised to see the light in Mike's office and she noticed that her things were already in a box. When a voice comes out of his thoughts

\- Connie since when are you here?

\- Mike, right now, you have a new assistant

\- Not new, but rest assured she is married and has children where her absence at this time, come to my office we have time to discuss?

\- Yes I came for that, and relocate

\- Always ? I thought ... hoped to change your mind

\- Mike you can be so safe at work and a dreamer in everyday life

\- Yes Connie if the happiness is for the dreamers, then we are lucky when I think of us I dream every quarter of an hour, why all reject en bloc

\- Mike I'm going to live on the other side of our country, my family needs me

\- Connie, let me love you, let me show it to you,

\- Oh Mike but I love you, but I do not know how to do it (says Connie in tears)

Connie put her cardboard on the table in the center of Mike's office, and kissed him. Their kiss quickly becomes intense, without really knowing how they end up lying on the couch in the office, and then in a taxi to Mike's house.

Once there their clothes quickly become superfluous, none of them speak, they love as hard as they tried to repress their feelings.

When his alarm clock rings for work Mike leaves a note to Connie, with a key from her apartment so that she has a warm place to rest. When Connie wakes up she finds Mike's word, a hot coffee, after breakfast and shower, she goes to greet Jack in the office.

\- Hello Jack, thank you for your help for the mutation, I admit that everything is going a little too fast in this moment, this work will allow me to resume a healthier life

\- I'm happy to hear that, Mike is also transferred, but in our walls, he goes to sex crimes, but as head of office, I have to give slack to his leash

\- Oh, that makes him a nice promotion, so he will not work with his assistant anymore

\- And no, why are you jealous, said Jack with his mocking smile

\- No, I saw Mike yesterday coming to pick up my things, I know she's married

\- I'll let the movers come to my apartment I do not have a lot of time on New York, a thousand thanks Jack

After a long hug, Connie looked for Mike in the office, not finding him she goes to take the elevator, and goes to his apartment. While she was guiding the movers, her phone rang

\- Mike congratulations on your promotion !

\- Thank you Connie, I accepted this promotion, as you know we will not have any more worries at work, I will not be your superior anymore

\- It's not that easy Mike, I still have my mom ... Mike cut him off

\- I love you Connie, I'll get on my knees if you want, but I'll wait for you as long as I need to, I'll fly, fly, we'll get there if we love each other enough

\- Mike, you're my sweet dreamer ... Connie hangs up

When she's done, she goes back to Mike's house, and leaves her a word, then she leaves for the airport and then for L.A

Mike came to his apartment, seeing it in the dark he understood that Connie had gone to California last night everything was perfect, they loved each other with passion. How can Connie forget that night? He found Connie's letter


	4. Chapter 4

_**Here's the next, then follow a chapter for each month that separates Connie from Mike, I await your opinion, and your ideas ...I have none of the characters, and this and valid for the whole story that I will write later**_

Mike left his apartment and went back to his new office, so big, so cold, and so empty. He paces up and looks for Connie to understand that he's ready to support everyone, fly, and spend hours on the phone or Skype.

He grabs his phone and writes an email telling Connie that it will be the last, that he will respect his desire not to be together and that he will try to forget it.

"I left everything there as you left it, your pillow still crumpled, I did not dare to withdraw our kisses, I understood that life hurts, I only have this silence, which repeats to me that I live without you, must I still stay alive, tell me why? I shed tears to build a river that will join our oceans, but I know that loves are erased, I must live without you, your letter has torn my heart, but I do not resign myself, you do not could not make love to me without loving me, but I do not blame you, you gave me so much smile and so much joy so tell me if I dreamed that night? As you know, I am a dreamer who dreams of us, so let me believe in it, even if I am dying of hope. I know that love hurts, so for us I want to have pain, share words of love, and intense kisses. I love you. MC »

Connie was coming to her brother Julio helps him put his luggage in the car, they stop taking pizzas for tonight, as they have to find an organization for the times Connie is in the office. While Connie set the pizzas, Julio reads the message that Mike has just sent to Connie. He understands that his sister leaves more than a job in New York.

"So how was New York? You have seen former colleagues

\- Julio I do not want to talk about New York, but rather to find an organization to avoid that your children suffer from the time of the illness of mother

\- Connie mom did stroke, her condition is not temporary, you do not have to take the weight of this load alone ...

\- CHARGE are we talking about mom you forgot?

\- No, but we are 4 children, ... »

He did not say anything as Connie read Mike's message, he saw the tears running down his cheeks. Connie and he were 15 years apart, it was the youngest of the family, his darling little sister, internally he will not let his sister miss Mike.

Arrived at the house his other brother Matéo, Emma his sister take her in their arms. "I'm coming I'll put my things started feeding my nephews and nieces because I'm going to have a little water on my face"

\- We need to relieve Connie, in New York she left more than a job, Connie left a man she loves to help us.

\- But why did not she tell us anything, it's stupid, we could take mom home

\- And me with Claos we can relieve you by taking your children and mom to offer you oxygen?

\- I know but Connie does not want to hear anything! Why….

\- Paracerque I did not ask you anything, Mom needs you as much as me and New ...

\- In New York you have left a man apparently that you love and who loves you, you are not going to sacrifice your life. Mom would be angry and we too accept our help!

\- Thank you but anyway with change job I'm stuck for 12 months

The evening had suddenly become light for Connie, she knew what to say to Mike, she smiled without hiding happiness that gave him so much hope to live his story with Mike. On her phone she patted a short message that said all she felt for Mike "I love you wait for me"

I hope you enjoyed it, thank you for your opinion


	5. Chapter 5

Mike is asked on a particularly sordid crime scene. Parents returning from work discovered their two dead children. He looks at the two little bodies, wondering why so much hatred and violence. He asks the inspectors not to let go any clue, to classify everything so that their file is irreproachable. He felt his phone vibrate, pulling it out of his pocket and seeing it was Connie. Going to the exit he stopped at the parents

\- Sir, are you going to find the one who did this to our babies?

\- The police will do their best, I'm the one with my team that will ensure that this person stays in prison for life (Mike noticed the statue of St. Sara), you are of gypsy origin?

\- Yes how do you know? it means you will not do anything

\- No, my parents are gypsies, and how much it would not change, justice is the same for everyone

Once outside he hastened to call Connie

\- Hello, you're fine I may be bothering you.

\- No, you're falling right now, a dirty murder case, but already your voice allows me to escape

\- Ohhhh Mike Cutter wants to escape from his work, it's a first! It's so terrible

\- Yes two little gypsies of 5 and 14 years were murdered, the parents had just left to talk with neighbors, the nanny made them a sign

\- Oh Mike it's terrible, if only we were not so far away I could take my arms, do we want to do something

\- Ah yes what

\- You are in your car ?

\- Yes, because of the cold weather

\- Good close eyes, ... does not interrupt me, so close my eyes my sweet dreamer, you feel my kiss on your cheek,

\- Yes

\- Now I put my head in the hollow of your neck, and wrapped my arms around your neck, you feel my hug my love

\- Oh yes, I love you so much Connie (someone knocked on his window coming out of his waking dream)

\- I leave you my darling, I love you

Mike followed the policeman to show him the exchanges on the big sister's computer, and the person who traded with her was an adult. With this adult she was talking about the arguments of her parents, and the desire to leave home or kill them.

This affair plunged Mike into his childhood memories, the daily fights of his parents, the blows his father gave him. On returning to his office he took a paracetamol it had been several weeks that he alternated tonsillitis or sinusitis. Then plunged into the computer readings of the big sister. At the beginning of the exchanges she was very reserved and later she asked that someone rid her of her parents, how so much hatred towards people who gave her life?

Mike was fired from this sordid affair by a person banging on his door

\- Connie what are you doing here? How did you do ?

\- Well darling I took a plane and finally a taxi, then the elevator and ...

\- You're stupid but I love you so much

He hurriedly took Connie in his arms, kissing her.

\- I put all this away and we're going to dine at the Italian restaurant?

\- No, if we took away your apartment, I want us to be alone, just the two of us. And then you have little tired eyes

\- Just struggling to get rid of angina

\- Then I'll prepare a hot drink, to relieve your throat ...

\- I would have preferred a hot bath in a charming company

\- But you can have both my sweet dreamer

They could quickly get a taxi, and return before 8 pm to Mike's apartment. Once in the apartment they could not stop their love, Mike kisses Connie with passion and leads her to the bedroom. Mike paused and pulled Connie out of his clothes slowly and tenderly, each little piece of uncovered skin received a kiss, Connie did the same with Mike. Then, once they are naked, they make love to each other with passion, and fall asleep huddled in each other's arms.

\- Why did you come, it's a nice surprise

\- Because I missed you so much and I felt so bad morning on the phone that I decided to come, besides my brothers can take care of mom these 4 days

\- Four days, I'm not a dreamer anymore but a lucky man

\- Lucky but feverish, let's finish what we started in a hot bath ...


	6. Chapter 6

Connie after a romantic weekend and looked after her Mike returned to L.A. She was finding it increasingly difficult to bear this distance, she was becoming more and more aware of the strength of her love for Mike. She was also worried, this new affair disturbed Mike, he woke up several times from nightmares, but according to him not related to the business.

She knew that Mike was always more emotionally affected when it came to children, he was also less careful, more aggressive and above all he would take all the risks.

She was pulled from her thoughts by her sweet dreamer, My tender love, look around you, only you who knew how to change me, because it's you, you change my future into joy, look deep inside his bag, if you don't, if you don't want …. because it's you who chooses what is good for you

I love you, because it's you, and because it's me, because it's us

Connie reaches into her purse, she finds an envelope, with the words "Beautiful lady, my dear beloved would you agree to marry me?" "

Tears came to her eyes, a shiver ran through her, if she could turn the plane around she would do it immediately. But she contented herself with an SMS with written answer when I could kiss, and love you all night!

In New York Mike studied each message sent by the girl, each message received, something escaped him, when a man knocked on his door

\- Hello you are the lawyer responsible for putting these people in prison

\- Yes once we find the culprits, did you know that Elise the elder wanted to kill his parents? If yes, why ?

\- You're talking nonsense ! family is sacred with us

\- Yes but of course so sacred that I have no more news from my parents! Then the violins you iron. Tell me what you know, Elise is missing, her brothers and sisters massacred, the silence will not help us ! So like all the neighbors you hear nothing, you close your window when he beat up his children, give us tracks

\- They are good parents, but they refused a marriage to their daughter, you know with us the children are treasures, so he had planned a good husband, but Eloise did not want it, from that day … ...

Jack erupted in Mike's office, telling him to turn on his phone, on the news he was talking about a plane connecting NY to L.A it was in disaster, currently they do not know the state of the passengers

Finished what you have to tell me NOW

\- Since that day Eloise came home less often, put her brothers and sisters in danger, my daughter Hélène can tell you about it.

Mike thanked the man and passed the information on to the inspectors, and flew to Andale, Kansas.

He was trying to see if there were mountains or fields where the plane could have landed without damage, the 4 hour flight seemed to him forever. On arrival he was looking for information, when finally Jack called to tell him that all the passengers had survived, that they were transferred to the Ambassador Hotel in Wichita.

Mike immediately took a taxi to reach this hotel, then he said in 30 minutes he might be in Andale. But he resigned himself to waiting, and connected to wifi to work on his file and not to be late. He also warned Connie's family.

When 3 hours after the passengers finally arrive at the hotel.

\- Connie, I'm here, Connie

\- Oh Mike I was so scared, what a joy to see you here, I didn't call you anymore, I had no battery

Mike took Connie's face in her hands she kissed him on the forehead, nose, mouth, chin, and hugged her tightly.

\- I suggest that we land a few days here?

\- Yes good Mike, I just want to tell you something important

\- What darling?

\- I love you and yes I want to become your wife, fall asleep and wake up near you every day, carry your children, I love you a little more every day, I have never loved someone like you , I don't want to love another person anymore

\- I love you my love

They settled into their room, Mike prepared a warm bath for Connie. Bathing becomes theirs, once bathing they head for the bed where Mike removes Connie's robe. He ran to kiss her back, then her breasts, he went down to her vulva where he gave her kisses, licked her, feeling Connie arched he went up his kiss to her lips, and slowly entered her.

Connie felt chills invade her, she freed herself and sat on Mika to kiss her chest, sucked her dimples, she helped Mike to enter her, and they made love with passion

They did not leave their room until each of them flew in the opposite direction.

**I promise I will not delay for the rest I owe you three chapters !**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter, but I am a nurse who is very busy at work, this chapter will be longer than the others in order to make up for my lack of writing. Take care of you !**

Since the plane crash Mike and Connie were overwhelmed with work. Connie had a murder affair that seemed very simple at first, then whenever she and Dekker thought they were finally getting to the end of it, another avenue opened up.

Mike still had this multiple murder case, and comes another case where a judge was the victim of an attempted murder, and a clerk was murdered.

What does this month, Connie and he had not seen each other. Only the telephone, emails and sms allowed them to exchange their two oceans.

Mike had summoned Hélène, the friend of Eloise, the main suspect in the murder of her brothers and sisters.

He learned that Eloise seemed to be deliberately putting her brother and sister in danger, that she had a boyfriend, a gadjo, who was sometimes violent with her. But she sincerely loved. When she spoke to her father about wanting to introduce them, and her parents refused, that day she promised them that they would suffer as much as she did.

Mike forwarded this information to Lupo and Bernard, and to seek out Charles Cooper. Then he took time to consult his messages, but news from Connie, at the same time it is 1 pm so it is 10 am in LA she must be in the middle of a meeting with Dekker.

He takes the opportunity to go for a coffee, when his phone rang

\- Hello, are you Mr. Cutter?

\- Yes who requests it?

\- I'm Bošnjak Nanosh, the clan leader, you must stop your pursuit, nobody should know that the daughter of the Datori wanted to marry a gadjo, as a gypsy, we are your blood, your family

\- Look sir, I don't care to drop this case, these two kids deserve their criminal punishment. As far as the gypsy family is concerned, I haven't been part of it for a long time!

Mike was upset, the gypsy family, his father beat him day and night until he was 10 years old, his mother quickly remarried to stay in the clan, but his stepfather was even worse. So his mother put him in boarding school and at the age of 12 he had never heard of his family again. He thinks that these two little victims, 5 and 14 years old, are not ages to die. Besides, is there a good age? He was having his coffee, and thinking of him and Connie. It had been so long since he had hugged her, kissed her, loved her … he wrote her an email full of passion "My love, my life,

I'm writing to you today to tell you how happy I am to share my life with you. I am not a pro with words, I am not Baudelaire or Victor Hugo but I love you like crazy. We have been together for a little over 6 months and I have never been so good in my whole life! With you, everything seems simple to me, I don't ask myself any questions. I'm lucky to be with you, you're so easy to live with. Me who always used to be with women who always asked me a thousand questions, women who wanted me to change ... You, you make me feel important all the time, no matter how I act, I see always love in your eyes. You don't hold it against me when I groan, you're always smiling, always caring. I love you so much that words fail me, that I would like to move Los-Angeles next to New York. I miss you my love, Mike. "

The inspectors call him to tell him they have Cooper. Mike rushes to 2.7 to insist on the interrogation.

First Lupo and Bernard start the questions:

\- So Mr. Cooper, what do you have to say about the murder of these two children (asked Bernard)

\- Nothing, I have nothing to say, they are crazy in this family

\- So crazy that you go out with Eloïse the big sister of the victims (says Lupo)

\- Eloïse and I were over as soon as she told me that her father did not want us to go out together, two gypsies came to explain to me that I should no longer approach his family, and believe me they were rather persuasive

Cutter arrived and listened behind the glass, this case was difficult for him, all his childhood memories came to the surface, he even felt like he felt the leather of his father's belt on his body, but this Cooper seemed sincere, he asked the inspectors to release him and follow him to see if he would not take them to Hélène.

Connie discovers Mike's message, she smiles because she would never have thought that Mike could be so touching, the man and very different from the prosecutor, even if the prosecutor approaches him seduced by his talent in the bathroom audience, by her physique and then she discovered the man, the one she loved. As she had to go to court, she quickly replied, "My sweet dreamer, I love you every hour, every minute, and every second. I miss you too, I hope we can talk tonight, kiss you where you know. Connie »

Mike watches the 11:00 p.m. clock, he calls Connie, but no response. Surely a family meal that drags on. He decides to go home, and he will call Connie from his house.

\- Hello Mike, how are you?

\- Apart from the fact that I miss you terribly this is going pretty well, the case of the judge is at a standstill no track. The case of the two little gypsies is slowly unlocking, are you?

\- We're coming to the end of our business, I liked your message so much, you see tonight I want to be in your arms, to snuggle up against you. I can't wait to be free to come and see you.

\- And so I, it's been snowing since this morning.

\- Hmm that gives me the idea of a hot bath with you, damn I have to leave you my mother needs me. I love you my sweet dreamer

\- I love you my Connie

Mike woke up the phone at 4 a.m. He thought of Connie and his mother first, but it was Lupo, they had found Helene in a sordid motel. The girl was panicked and terrorized.

\- So we fearful day that you killed two kids

\- No, no I did not kill my brother and my sister, I fled through the window, my parents were

\- What! Now you want us to believe that your parents are

\- Yes, they are convinced that I soiled the house with Charles, besides men of the clan threatened him for more than we were dating, that is why I hide. Besides, they even planned to kill the gypsy prosecutor, well gadjo, because he is no longer a gypsy

\- What are you saying, they want to kill the prosecutor

\- Yes, I swear

Bernard and Lupo quickly warn Mc Coy and Anita Van Buren about the threats just reported by Hélène.

\- Are you sure that these are not empty threats to divert us from the real culprit

\- Anita says jack, we can't take a risk, put Mike under protection, where is he? He should not have joined you at 2.7?

\- If Bernard answers, I will call him back

\- Ok keep me posted, I'm going to the office.

What he feared confirms that Mike had never reached 2.7, nor the office, and no trace at home. He put on his temper as an assistant prosecutor to go and question the gypsy and her boyfriend.

\- Listen to this prosecutor is a gypsy why your clan will harm him, besides he is only doing his job, so tell me where he is? Now, and if you tell me the truth we will see for a reduced sentence!

\- But I didn't kill anyone, neither my brother, nor my sister, I'm a living victim, for your prosecutor by further researching he soiled my parents' house, and soiled my clan

\- Your parents ! Your clan ! you protect them, but they want to kill you i thought then who to believe

Anita asked for a psychiatric expertise, and continue the research, no leaks in the press, it is 6 am, Connie must not learn this from the press. Anita nods and puts all 2.7 on Mike's disappearance.

_**So much for this chapter I hope I have time to make you the next one quickly if Mister COVID gives me the time. Prudence is the mother of safety so watch out for you!**_


End file.
